A CastleVania Christmas
by Writers-Blade
Summary: What happens in Draculas castle at Christmas time? Lots of confusion and weirdness, for all who experience it.


**A Castlevania Christmas**

**A/N**-Okay, this is humorous story about what happens in Castlevania at Christmas time. This is using the characters from Symphony Of The Night. You'll notice some rather familiar Christmas thing, with morbid Castlevania twists on them. Who knows, perhaps a man in a bright red suit will show up in this story.

* * *

"Okay, Alucard, hand me the star before I fall off of here and break my neck." Richter said to Alucard as they finished decorating the Christmas tree in the Alchemy Lab. Alucard then handed the star to his fairy familiar who carried it up to Richter and then returned to Alucard for another job.

It was Christmas time in Romania, and deep in the heart of Transylvania, even the castle of Count Dracula, Castlevania, seemed to take on a cheery mood. Richter, Alucard, and Maria had all returned to the castle in order to decorate it for the holiday season. (A/N- Yeah, I know it only appears every hundred years, but there will be an explanation later.) The three had already decorated more than half of the castle, including Dracula's throne room.

"Well, I saw we take a rest. This is quite tiring." Maria said as she leaned back against a wall, "Actually we need a good Christmas story. Alucard, why don't you run off to the Library and find one?"

Alucard shrugged as he pulled out a library card and teleported himself instantly to the library, and quickly found a book and returned to the others. "The Night Before Christmas. Even though it is only the 23rd, it still fits."

**The Night Before (Castlevania) Christmas**

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the castle

Many monsters were about, making decorating a hassle

The victims were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Count Dracula soon would be there

The demons were nestled all snug in the beds

While visions of gruesome deaths danced in their heads,

Richter apparently cracked his whip with a snap

So the Succubus gave him a firm hard slap

(A/N-Across the face, don't start getting dirty ideas)

Then out on the courtyard there arose such a clatter

I leapt out of my coffin to see what was the matter

Away to the window I flew like a bat

Outside I saw a Salome flying by with her cat.

When what to my wondering eyes should I see

But a massive coffin being pulled by two doppelgangers of me

And there was a terrible slave driver, with bad morning breath

I knew at that instant, that it was Death

More rapid than eagles the doppelgangers came,

Then Death swung out with his scythe and both of them were slain

The coffin then fell signalling impending doom,

If Death was around, I knew that Dracula was too.

Then with a crashing I heard on the roof,

a massive stone from the ceiling fell on me, and I let out an "OOF!"

As I pushed off the stone and got back to my feet

Dracula jumped down through the hole with a leap

He was dressed all in black, and wore an arrogant smirk

Damn! I hate this guy, he's a total jerk

He walked over to me and punched me in the head

"I hate you, my foolish son! I wish you were dead."

He said the he hated me, at least that's what I heard

Then he stuck out his hand and flipped me the bird

He leapt into his coffin and I heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight

"Merry Christmas to all, You'll all die tonight!"

Richter and Maria stared blankly at Alucard and then after several seconds he finally realized the things he had just said. He didn't have time to react as Maria leapt form her seat and snatched the book away from the dhampir, but then she was shocked.

"I can't believe it, that is truly what is written in the book. But how did this happen? I know the story doesn't go like that." She said turning to Alucard for an answer

"How should I know? Maybe my father changed it to his liking." Alucard said shrugging, "Anyhow we've had our break, so lets continue on with decorating."

And so the three continued decorating the castle till late in the evening. Alucard retired to his room and Richter and Maria also had found rooms that were perfectly furnished as though they had been prepared especially for them. That night as all three slept, they started having peaceful dreams that slowly faded into nightmares and terrible visions of horror. The next morning, they all spoke of their pleasant dreams but none spoke about their nightmares not wanting to alarm the others.

Later that day they finished decorating the castle. It was Christmas Eve, and they were all in a joyous mood. Alucard was walking through the halls of the castle, and despite his usually cold demeanor he started humming a pleasant Christmas tune.

I'll be home for Christmas,

You can count on me,

Let there be blood and severed toes,

And dead things on the tree.

The Alucard froze in mid-stride, at the realization of what he had said, he turned to walk back and hopefully not drive himself mad thinking about it, but then eh saw a sight that he was sure would drive him mad. An ordinary Christmas tree, only it was soaked with blood and severed toes hung from some of the branches, and on the top instead of a little star or an angel, a Schmoo sat there staring blankly out at the world.

"What the hell is going on here?" Alucard whispered as he quickly rushed away, he made his way to the nearest teleporter room and used it but when he arrived in a new part of the castle and left the teleporter room he was even more shocked. It was not a tree this time but a Venus Weed. Imps flew around her stringing beads and hanging ornaments on the woman in the center and the petals of the flower. The woman looked over and saw Alucard, but instead of attacking him she smiled at him. She held up a piece of mistletoe above her and beckoned him towards her. Alucard then screamed and ran away as fast as he could.

Alucard finally returned to Richter and Maria, and judging by the look on Richters face, he too had encountered some strange things within the castle. "Believe me Richter, you haven't seen anything compared to what I've seen." He said as he passed the frightened vampire hunter.

Richter leapt up grabbing the dhampir by the collar, "I just spent forty-five minute running away from the succubus in a Mrs. Claus outfit!" Shouted Richter, "A rather skimpy, beautiful…." Richter quickly caught what he was saying and smacked himself in the head, "Sorry, about that, I'm okay now."

"Alucard?" Maria said softly walking over to him, "What is going on here? I was walking through the halls, and suddenly, Shaft grabbed me holding me on his lap, and he asked me what I wanted for Christmas. How did he get back to the castle?" She said in a horrified voice.

It only took a few seconds for it to register in everyone's minds, and they all three shouted in unison, "The castle is back!"

They all rushed towards Dracula's throne room, though it took them a rather long time, as they were trying to avoid any more Christmas related monsters. There were caroling skeletons, flea men dressed like elves and Schmoo's wearing Santa hats, and that's only naming a few of the beast that they saw. Needless to say when they arrived at Dracula's throne room, there were all quite disturbed. The three slowly crept up to Dracula's throne room. They all nodded to each other and burst in hoping to catch the dark lord off guard. But no one was there, and there was no sign that Draculas had even been there recently.

"Now this doesn't make sense, that monster should be here." Said Richter, quite confused by the strange (A/N-as if this whole damn thing wasn't strange enough) turn of events.

"If the castle has returned, logically, my father should be here. But the one time we actually want him to be here, he's gone. This is just ridiculous." Alucard grumbled, kicking a candle hold across the room.

"Alucard, you know how stupid that sounded?" Richter said, "Do you actually want him to be back? Your father who wants to kill you?"

"It would make a lot more sense for him to be here." Alucard replied, "Besides, it'd be lot nicer then having to fight you being possessed by Shaft again."

"Oh, the father disappears and the gloves come off." growled Richter who glared at Alucard. After that a large argument between the two erupted, and they argued late into the night, while Maria just sat off to the side, not wanting to really get involved

"And furthermore Richer, I….. do you hear that?" Asked Alucard, when he stopped in the middle of a comeback at Richter when the sound of bells stopped him, "Either I'm losing my mind, or I hear sleigh bells."

The three looked at each other and ran to the nearest window, and looking outside, in the distance the saw a sleigh being pulled by eight reindeer. As it came closer they were able to make out the driver wearing a bright red outfit. As the sleigh flew ever closer they noticed one major problem, the reindeer, were all skeletal and the driver wasn't Santa Claus, as they expected, but Dracula, though he was wearing a Santa Claus outfit. As it flew overhead Dracula leapt out and landed in front of the three confused vampire hunters.

"Father…" said Alucard flatly as he glared at the grinning vampire.

"Well met my son, its been a long time.." he said smiling at his son,.

"Actually, I defeated you earlier this year, it hasn't been that long." Alucard replied, and Draculas frowned, and though for a moment then shrugged.

"Die Monster!" Shouted Richter as he readied his whip, "You don't belong..in…what are you doing?" Asked Richter when Draculas started going through a large bag he had over his shoulder.

"I'm getting out the presents." Dracula said coolly, "Here you go." He said tossing a gift the each of the three. Richter opened up the present carefully to find a brand new whip, though he was utterly confused. Maria received a map of the castle, so if she ever barged in again she wouldn't get hopelessly lost. And Alucard just stared as his father, not quite sure he wanted to open his just yet.

"Father, " he said, "Why are you.."

"Why am I back?" he said flatly, "Son, though I may be the Dark Master…"

"Bater…" interrupted Richter, giggling at his joke. But receiving a dark look from everyone else.

"As I was saying, though I am the dark master," he glared at Richter to stop him from interrupting again. "I do enjoy a good Holiday. And Christmas is such a wonderful Holiday." He then frowned, "Plus it's the one time I can come back, with the one hundred year thing. But one day isn't enough to plan anything big, so I just enjoy it."

Alucard then opened his gift, and it was card that said, "Merry Christmas Son. From, Count Vlad Tepes Dracula."

Dracula smiled at him, "I couldn't think of anything to get you, so I just got you a nice card. The librarian said that he'll give you any one item you want for free."

"How thoughtful…"Alucard said flatly, not expecting much, but more than some cheap item from that over-charging old librarian.

"Well, tomorrow is Christmas morning. You may spend the night, but by tomorrow night I suggest that you be gone. I don't want to spend another year in limbo with you guys around." Draculas said hoping that they would leave soon, he was hoping to spend some quality time with the succubus, she was rather good looking in that Mrs. Claus outfit.

And so the three spent the night, and left the next day, not wanting to be there when the castle disappeared again. As they were heading back to town Richter was the first to speak up. "Next year, lets do Christmas at my place?" and Alucard and Maria quickly agreed.

As they were walking away, they all heard a faint voice from the distance, "Merry Christmas to all, I'll kill you next year."

**The End**

**A/N**-Hey, the idea seemed original enough. And hey, Tis the season, right?

Disclaimer- All characters, and what not, are all owned by Konami. And, "Twas the Night Before Christmas"….eh, public domain.


End file.
